Woman's Manual

Of late though, the view on chocolate for the skin has taken an about turn. High-end spas all around the world have introduced the latest in skin care - chocolate spa treatments! From soothing chocolate massages and body wraps to indulgent chocolate facials and invigorating chocolate body scrubs, suddenly chocolate is everywhere. Using cocoa-based creams, lotions, and oils, you can now choose to get your chocolate fix without the calories.

Some of the benefits of chocolate body treatments include:

Firms the skin - The caffeine present in chocolate stimulates the circulation and improves blood flow. This in turn improves and invigorates skin cells, decreases the aging process and increases firmness of the skin.

Rich in anti-oxidants - The darker the chocolate, the more powerful are the antioxidant properties. It is also important that you choose your creams and lotions carefully before you begin using them. Products that contain more than 35% of pure cocoa are more effective when it comes to revitalizing the skin and giving it a plumper and firmer feel. Antioxidants also help increase the level of collagen and elastin in the skin and thereby reduce the effects of aging. Fine lines and wrinkles can be treated with regular chocolate treatments as antioxidants lessen the damage caused by free radicals in the body.

As a moisturizing agent - Cocoa butter contains high amounts of natural oils and emollients necessary for treating dry, rough and flaky skin. A chocolate massage or chocolate body wrap using a cocoa-butter based massage cream will help remedy rough skin especially on those stubborn spots such as the elbows, knees and feet. The higher the percentage of cocoa butter in the lotion or cream, the better moisturized the skin stays long after the treatment is over.

Good for health - Studies have shown that eating a small bit of dark chocolate every day can improve your cardiovascular system, and help prevent atherosclerosis and chronic fatigue due to its antioxidant properties.

Chocolate also has the power to improve a person’s mood and cause feelings of euphoria. Even the smell of chocolate can accomplish this positive effect on the brain; making chocolate massages an ideal way reap the health benefits of without any of the guilt associated with eating too much chocolate.

Good for cellulite - Chocolate contains theobromine that helps burn fat and get rid of cellulite. A chocolate massage or chocolate body wrap helps work the chocolate-based lotion or oil into the skin for the best results.

Calming effects - Who hasn’t calmed down after biting into a chunk of chocolate? In much the same way, a chocolate massage helps reduce stress and tension and eases tight and sore muscles.

You can also make your own chocolate massage lotion at home in a few simple steps:

Mix together a quarter cup of cocoa powder with one cup of shea butter and a quarter cup of chamomile oil. You can use a blender for this to get a nice smooth consistency.

Mix till the lotion is smooth and free of lumps. If you would like it thinner, add some more oil. If you prefer a thicker cream, add some more shea butter. Make sure that the shea butter is at room temperature for the best results.

Pour this lotion into a jar with a tight lid and store in a cool dark place.

Use to massage into the skin or as a moisturizer. It is gentle enough for everyday use.

Love is universal, or at least it seems to be.

Every society has a romantic tradition, and the desire to form a long and (hopefully) lasting love with another human being is apparently an intrinsic part of being human. But while monogamy seems to be the ideal for most people, attaining that ideal is easier said than done. Like it or not, humans aren't likely to stay with one romantic partner for their entire lives. No matter how a society chooses to define marriage, nearly half of all such partnerships end in divorce.

This is hardly unique to modern society: According to David Buss, hunter-gatherer societies seem particularly prone to divorce. For example, members of the Ache society of Paraguay can report as many as 11 marriages by the time they reach adulthood.

For whatever reason, most romantic relationships are going to come to an end, whether harmoniously or not.

Though we recognize that love is often fragile, it can be difficult to understand exactly why a romantic relationship comes to an end. For most people, this can be a traumatic experience, especially for the one who is caught unaware that a relationship is over. The shock and anger that can result from a bad breakup can take years to work through; learning to move on can be extremely difficult.

While there has been extensive research into the psychology of romantic love, is it possible to learn what can cause people to fall out of love with a significant other? For that matter, how is it possible to move on after such a relationship comes to an end? A new article published in Review of General Psychology suggests that humans may actually have a mental mechanism in place for severing the emotional bond between romantic partners. Authors Brian Boutwell of Saint Louis University, J.C. Barnes of the University of Cincinnati, and Kevin Beaver of Florida State University suggest in their article that their concept of a "mate rejection module" is hardly new.

Evolutionary psychologists have long argued that the ability to end a relationship and prepare for a new one can have definite advantages in terms of improving the ability to reproduce successfully. While some species can mate for life, humans typically don't. Admittedly, there are enormous differences across cultures—and at different periods in history—which makes it difficult to pin down how the mate rejection module actually works. Not only have some cultures allowed multiple marriages, but ending a marriage has been extremely difficult in many times and places. Even with casual relationships that don't involve any formal declarations, moving on from one partner to the next one can still be tricky.

In their review, Boutwell and his co-authors suggest that there are can be separate mechanisms at work:

First is what they called primary mate ejection, or the active decision to reject a mate.
Secondary mate ejection involves coming to terms with being rejected and reaching the point at which a new romantic pairing becomes possible.

Not surprisingly, there appear to be significant differences between males and females in terms of where and when their mate ejection modules are activated. When dealing with infidelity, for example, men and women may react very differently, depending in part on how serious the infidelity is considered to be. Since, in evolutionary terms, men are more sensitive to the possibility of raising someone else's child, they may be less prone to forgive sexual infidelity than women. On the other hand, women seem less prone to forgiving emotional infidelity—such as when a partner falls in love with another woman, rendering him no longer a "safe bet" in terms of supporting her children (or her). Studies examining how willing men and women are to forgive infidelity appear to support this gender difference.

The kind of resources that a woman has, and the opportunities within the culture in which she lives, can also affect how willing she is to eject a mate. If she is able to support herself, the decision to leave is often easier than if she might be left destitute following a split.

But is it possible to use neuroscience to understand how mate ejection works for men and women?

In their article, Boutwell and his colleagues examined some of the neurological underpinnings of romantic love, including fMRI studies showing that many of the brain pathways linked to being in love show strong similarities with pathways linked to addiction. (Didn't you always suspect that?)

These pathways include the orbitofrontal and prefrontal cortex, right ventral tegmental area, and the ventral striatum, all of which involve reward or pleasure areas of the brain. The love-addiction link also helps explain the acute distress people feel when rejected by a romantic partner, as well as why stalkers have so much trouble letting go of their romantic feelings.

While the feeling associated with mate ejection can resemble drug withdrawal in many ways, both primary and secondary mate ejection take place after a gradual process of overcoming these old feelings and preparing the brain for bonding to a new partner. Once mate ejection occurs (whether primary or secondary), parts of the prefrontal cortex begin the process of "learning" to prepare for a new romantic interest.

(An intriguing example of how brain biochemistry can affect mate ejection involves research looking at selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) anti-depressants. By suppressing serotonin levels, the brain's dopamine and norepinephrine levels are affected as well. Not only does this lower testosterone levels, but it may also suppress romantic feelings. For men, this might trigger a preference for sexual variety and, as a result, increase the risk of infidelity. For now, Boutwell et al. simply raise this as a possible explanation for why men may become more sexually promiscuous as a side effect of using these medications, but it can also be help understand how biochemical changes could lead to relationship problems.)

There remain numerous unanswered questions about mate ejection:

Is it the same for both homosexual and heterosexual relationships? While early studies suggest that it is, this is still largely open to debate.
Then there is the question of how mate ejection can be measured. Can the same brain pathways that seem to be involved in romantic love be linked to the decision to end a relationship?
And what about cases of obsessive love, such as erotomania? Could understanding more about mate ejection help with treatment of stalkers?

All of these questions are potential areas for future research.

"Til death do us part" pairings do exist, of course, but for whatever reason, most romantic relationships will eventually come to an end. Whether the breakup that ends a love affair is mutual or one-sided, we all have the capacity to move on to someone else, even if coping with heartache and disappointment can be overwhelming at times.

In many ways, ending a love affair is a lot like overcoming a drug addiction—and brain research seems to bear this out. However we first evolved the capacity for mate ejection, it seems to have become an important part of the human condition. Learning more about mate ejection may also provide the key to understanding how to keep love alive for as long as humanly possible.

Both sex addiction and love addiction are understood to be disorders of emotional intimacy characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive acting out behaviors. The difference between these addictions lies specifically in the types of acting out behaviors which may be present. A sex addict may have a problem with pornography or repeated anonymous sexual experiences, while the love addict acts out in relationship-by clinging to a partner (sometimes one who is destructive to him or her), by avoiding love and/or intimacy with a partner, by moving from one relationship to the next, and/or by not being able to cope when a relationship ends.

Sexual Addiction

In 1983, with the help of an addiction treatment center called the Hazeldon Foundation, Patrick Carnes published his seminal work, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Since that time, many therapies have been devised and many more treatment centers have opened their doors to those suffering sexual addiction. "Hypersexual disorder" is how the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and its publication, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders (DSM), propose to term the disorder. Still, to date, there is no APA supported diagnosis for sexual addiction, although many APA affiliated therapists and recovery centers treat individuals who experience both sex and love addiction symptoms.

A sex addict is someone who experiences life disruption or dysfunction due to habitual sexual obsessions and compulsions. Both men and women experience sexual addiction. A sex addict may compulsively look at pornography; may engage in compulsive masturbation; may engage in sex for pay activities (via phone, internet, or in person); may engage in compulsive voyeurism or exhibitionism; may seek repeated anonymous sexual encounters; or may feel unable to stop behaviors which lead to repeated infidelity. Sexual addiction is often progressive, meaning the compulsive acting out behaviors become progressively worse over time. A person engages in sex to "numb out" or feel a high in order to escape problems or avoid intimacy, but the consequences of shame, guilt, or broken relationships incite more and greater acting out behaviors.

Love Addiction

A love addict is someone who experiences an intoxicating rush when engaged in seduction; "romantic intrigue" (the initial phase of a relationship characterized by intense infatuation and increased sexual interaction); lust; or is someone who has a pattern of intense, painful, or obsessive relationships; or who is clinging, desperate, and insecure in a current relationship. A love addict may also be someone who is love-averse or "love avoidant" (incapable of lasting feelings of attachment) but who is either addicted to a pattern of usually unsuccessful relationships, or who has what is termed "emotional anorexia" and may avoid relationship or commitment altogether.

Chemicals behind Both Addictions

When a love addict ends a relationship, and when a sex addict goes without sex or sexual acting out behaviors, both may experience withdrawal symptoms. The withdrawal symptoms may include: depression, uneasiness, anxiety, restlessness, or irritability.

When a baby is held and petted, as well as when a mother breastfeeds and coos to her baby, the bond is reinforced by a chemical reaction in the brain. Oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins flood the brain and bloodstream. These chemicals send a pleasant sensation through the mother and child and trigger the reward center of the brain, reinforcing this ancient act of caregiving. Likewise, when a drug addict injects a hit of heroin, this same reward center is tripped. It is this same reward center that is activated when we have sex, feel close to our lovers, or simply feel excited about the possibility of seeing them-oxytocin floods our system and elevates our mood. It is this chemical reaction people are addicted to; the method is different for everyone.

The 12-Step program established to support these addictions often refers to an overall addiction-sex, love, and relationship addiction-and has a program called Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous to support people who may feel they are suffering from one or all addictions under the umbrella. Since the basic problem of sex and love addiction is one of emotional intimacy, and because this problem may be rooted in how attachments were formed in childhood with primary caregivers, it is important to recognize that they are closely related. The same root issues may reveal themselves in different acting out behaviors, but the dysfunction is the same: it is a dysfunction of relationship. All addictive patterns create negative consequences-to an individual’s sanity, health, relationships, and work-and all require supportive efforts to be healed. Getting therapy, finding a support group, and attending local SLAA meetings are just some of the ways healing from sex and love addiction can be found.

The highs of love and sex hinge on physical or psychological arousal, and relationships can be marked by desperation. However, there is some debate over whether sex addiction exists.

Definition

For people hopelessly in love, they go through life feeling desperate longing and constant fear. That is the fear of rejection, pain, unfamiliar experiences, and having little faith in their ability or right to inspire love. They wait and wish for love, but suffer a destructive twist on a normal life-enhancing activity.

For those who crave lots of sex, the need for arousal often replaces the need for intimacy; and the cravings can mask other issues such as depression, anxiety, and stress.

Symptoms

For the lovelorn:

Love is all consuming and obsessive
Is inhibited
Avoids risk or change
Lacks true intimacy
Is manipulative, strikes deals
Is dependent and parasitic
Demands the loved one's devotion

Treatments

If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you may want to seek professional assistance. Specialized counseling is available for those dealing directly or indirectly with these issues.

Treatment should probably involve at least some of the following:

Rebuilding relationships
Managing stress
Self-help

The creation of an environment that supports the therapeutic process is essential. A thorough assessment is conducted, and any problems or blocks to treatment are noted. The counselor begins the bonding with the client during the assessment, and then prepares a therapeutic or treatment plan (the change model) to help the client deal with any blocks that will prevent response to the treatment process.

Stress is universal, and it's not always bad. Whenever you jump to catch a badly thrown ball, feel especially energetic before an important meeting, or hit the brakes in time to avoid a car accident, stress is doing its job. The adrenaline boosting your heart rate and the colorist boosting your blood sugar, while diverting energy away from your digestive system and immune responses, are exactly what prehistoric humans needed to fight or flee attackers.

However, when there's never any relief from stress, the sustained fight-or-flight response can cause problems. In fact, Web MD warns that constant stress actually becomes "distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can lead to physical symptoms including headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases."

BEHAVIOR CHANGES

Angry outbursts

Drug or alcohol abuse

Over- or under-eating

Social withdrawal

Tobacco use

MOOD CHANGES

Anxiety

Irritability or anger

Lack of motivation or focus

Restlessness

Sadness or depression

BODY CHANGES

Chest pain

Fatigue

Headache

Muscle tension or pain

Sex drive

Sleep

Stomach upset

Massage Therapy and Stress

Virtually every symptom listed by the American Psychological Association can benefit from massage. Research has shown that it can lower your heart rate and blood pressure, relax your muscles and increase the production of endorphins, your body's natural "feel good" chemical. Serotonin and dopamine are also released through massage, and the result is a feeling of calm relaxation that makes chronic or habitual as well as acute or short-term stress much easier to overcome.

In fact, stress relief is one of the first benefits that come to mind when thinking of massage therapy. It's also a key component for anyone trying to achieve a healthier lifestyle. Clinical studies show that even a single 1 ½-hour session can significantly lower your heart rate, cortisol levels and insulin levels -- all of which explain why massage therapy and stress relief go hand-in-hand.

Benefits of Massage Therapy for Stress

Taking care of your body should be at the top of your priorities. By adding therapeutic massage to your routine now, you'll feel, look and simply be healthier far into the future. In fact, stress relief alone can improve your vitality and state of mind. So what better way to prep for a long, happy life than a relaxing, therapeutic massage?

If you're looking to add stress-relieving massage to your wellness program, a Massage Envy membership can be a powerful ally when combating daily pressures and anxiety. In addition to stress relief, ongoing massage therapy can reduce pain, increase energy levels and improve overall physical and mental performance. Our experienced, professional therapists at Massage Envy locations nationwide customize every massage (and stress relief) session to address your individual needs.

Keeping your nails looking their polished best is simple. Good manicure habits will also protect the health of your nails.

Follow these seven steps and your manicure should last seven to 10 days.

1. Go Shorter.

Talons not only look dated -- they’re more likely to split, break, and may even become detached from the nail bed.

"The longer the nail is, the more it acts like a lever," says dermatology professor C. Ralph Daniel III, MD, of the University of Mississippi Medical Center. "Any kind of force can lift the nail plate upward and away from its bed."

A chic and modern length is a nail that extends ever so slightly beyond the tip of your finger.

2. Shape Them Up.

Slightly oval or rounded nails with the corners left square is the easiest shape to maintain, says Wendy Lewis, a beauty consultant and author of Beauty Secrets: The Complete Lowdown on Skin, Hair and Body Treatments.

Sculpt your nails with a fine-grade emery board. Look for one in your drugstore or beauty supply shop that has the grit marked (the higher the number, the finer the grit), and choose a grit of 280/320.

Or try a four-sided buffer, which has surfaces of varying grittiness for shaping, smoothing, buffing, and shining.

File gently in one direction. If you saw back and forth, you'll weaken the tips of your nails, and that can lead to shredding or peeling.

3. Prep Before Polish.

If you have vertical ridges on your nails, create a smooth surface by applying a ridge-filling strengthener. Or, buff away the ridges with the fine side of a four-sided buffer.

Use restraint. If you buff too aggressively, you'll make the problem worse by thinning out the nail plate. "A good rule of thumb is if you feel heat or friction, back off," says Julie Serquinia, owner of The Paint Shop Beverly Hills nail salon in Beverly Hills, Calif.

Before you apply polish, swab nails with alcohol to remove any oily residue from creams or lotions. Any trace of oil will cause the polish to lift and peel, says Nancy Reagan, owner of Bella Reina Spa in Delray Beach, Fla.

4. Skip the Soak.

Dunking your fingertips into a little bowl of liquid is a standard step in most salon manicures. But it's actually a bad idea.

Your nail beds expand when you submerge them in water, and then shrink back when they dry, causing the new coat of polish to loosen. The purpose of the water soak is to assist in softening the cuticle, but a better idea is to use a cuticle softener, Reagan says. "These do a superb job of softening the cuticle so you don't need water," she says.

5. Moisturize Your Nails Nightly.

Dehydrated nails are more likely to break and split, while moisture-starved cuticles can become ragged, leading to those unsightly pieces of dead skin called hangnails.

The most efficient way to nourish parched nail beds and cuticles is with nightly use of a cuticle oil, says Jill Weinstein, MD, an instructor of clinical dermatology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. Keep a tube on your bedside table, suggests Weinstein, and apply a couple of drops around each nail, massaging into the cuticle. This simple step will help your manicure last longer, since brittle nails chip more easily.

6. Use a Base Coat.

Applying a base coat will help nail polish stick and wear longer.

When you move on to lacquer, keep your brush strokes to a minimum and your coats to two. The fewer strokes you use to cover your nail, the less chance of streaks, Lewis says. You'll also avoid creating the air pockets and bubbles that can be caused by thick layers of polish, Reagan says.

7. Add a Topcoat.

Defend against chips by applying polish and topcoat across the top edge of your nails. This is called a "seal."

Maintain the manicure by putting a new topcoat on the entire nail every other day.

Still, even with the best defense, chips happen. Fix chips by soaking a cotton swab in nail-polish remover and dabbing it on and around the scratch or nick to even out the surface, Serquinia says. Apply a thin coat of nail polish and follow with a topcoat.

Tip 1

After shampoo and conditioning, be sure to rinse your hair thoroughly. Left-over product dulls hair.

Tip 2

Distributing conditioner through your hair with a wide-toothed comb will leave your hair shiny and tangle-free.

Tip 3

Apply conditioner from mid-lengths to ends. Conditioning your roots will weigh your hair down.

Tip 4

If your hair is really dry, deep-condition at home. Apply conditioner to clean, damp hair; slip on a plastic cap and let your hair absorb for 30 minutes.

Tip 5

Rubbing your hair with a towel when it’s wet can ruffle the cuticle and cause tangles, so gently squeeze out excess water.

Tip 6

Before blow drying, protect your hair with a styling product such as a conditioning milk, cream, or serum.

Tip 7

Move your blow dryer from roots to ends to avoid frizz and shredding your hair cuticles.

Tip 8

For smooth results, brush as you blow dry in the same direction. It will prevent your cuticle from roughing up.

Tip 9

Make sure your hair is thoroughly dry before styling with a flat iron or curling iron to avoid frizz.

Tip 10

For a fuller look, part or style your hair in the opposite direction.